i knew i loved You

 

   i know that my Master does not like to have Himself blasted in blogs. i think Wwe Aall know that. i know that He has both asked me not to and given me permission to write about whatever i wanted to write about in my blog, including Him more than once. i know that i probably should not say some of the things i have roiling around inside of me in an open forum, because it tends to have the opposite effect that i desire when i do.

   But i also know that if i do not blog about this subject then i am going to let this blog go and just stop trying. i mean, have you ever had a topic on your mind and no matter what you do you can’t push it away in favor of other topics? i seem to be that way more and more as the years pass. Just become like a dog with a bone and cannot let something go until it is sorted out fully.

   So saying that, i hope that this blog pleases You Master as that is all Your slave has every hoped to do.

   i knew i could love You from Oour first real encounter. i knew that You could come to mean everything to me from the first time i sat at Your feet and felt Your fingers in my hair. i knew in my heart of hearts that You could be everything i had ever dreamed of in a Master and then some from the first time Wwe shared Oour viewpoints on the Lifestyle Wwe chose to live.

  When Wwe first got together, before anyone knew anything about it, i wrote in my profile about this wonderful Man. i’d like to see if i can recapture that magic again.

   i have been in this Lifestyle for nine, almost ten years now, and in that time i have dealt with many different types of people. Dominant and submissive alike. i have been collared a few times through those years and in all that time i have always held back, never truly being fulfilled because of my fear or my trust issues. i have never fully given myself to Anyone. Until i met my Master.

   i have been collared by the most amazing Man. He is wonderful and tender, sweet and genuine, loving and true. And at the same time He is harsh and strict, giving me the structure i NEED to truly feel like a slave. He has a no nonsense way about Him that just soothes all the chaotic insanity that rushes through my brain every time i turn around.

   His compassion and strength seem to know no bounds. Which makes me feel safe and secure (no pun intended) in myself and in Him. There is something about Him that triggers my need to submit, and my drive to open up completely. There is something that only He has possessed that has made the slave fire inside of me burn more brightly than it ever has before. And because of Him and all that He is, i am growing more and more everyday in my slavery. Opening myself up in ways that i never thought possible.

   It is a heady experience to know that you are truly safe, and protected and loved. That no matter what comes your way Someone else will be there to take the load and either share it with You or remove it from You completely and take it onto Themselves. It is an amazing feeling for me to be able to truly rely on Someone else fully. To know that i can call out to Him “Master?” and KNOW deep down inside i will hear back “I’m right here babydoll.” It is something that is hard for me to explain to those who don’t know, but to be assured of those things makes me relax and calms my inner demons to such an extent i can almost just close my eyes and drift into a peaceful sleep from the level of relaxation i feel.

   This Man has touched me in ways that even i am astounded by. He has opened so many doors for me. He has given me such promise of a future that i never thought possible. With Him as my guide and compass, knowing He is my strength gives me purpose beyond being a Mother. It allows me to be a woman, and a slave to a wonderfully Dominant Man.

   So to Him i say…thank You Master, for everything You are, everything You’ve helped me become and everything You represent for my future as a slave. i am eager to sit at Your feet and know that when all my options are taken away i am safe in Your embrace. i dream of the day i feel Your breath against my skin and Your hand in my hair. my heart longs for the time when i am able to serve You fully and without reservation.

   Your slave loves You to distraction, and revels in the knowledge that she belongs to You for as long as You consider her worthy of Your ownership. Happy New Year Master! Here’s to a bright and shining 2011! XOXO