Texts from Last Night Installment Two

 

 

Well decided that it was time to add in another installment of everyone's favorite website...Texts from Last night. i've added on a few lil notes of my own or opinions if Yyou will, so i hope Yyou enjoy them as much as i did. *grins*

For some reason this one hit home with me right now and also made me laugh. Poor girl. -- "He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning."

Now this is an innovative chicky! LOL -- "This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabilities. Time slots begin at noon."

Clever clever lass! -- "She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was..."

So very very true!!! LOL -- "just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people."

i hope i'm this cool when Ronan is an adult. lol -- "Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma."

Why does this remind me of a conversation that hetaera and i could SO have? ROFL! -- "First Girl: she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
Second Girl: because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking."

Gotta love an enlightened man. lol -- "So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town."

Hahaha! Happy birthday indeed! -- "i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does."

Happy Halloween. *winks* -- "Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween."

Strange strange conversations people have. -- "First guy: I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
Second guy: please elaborate on, "at least one ear"

For luvvy -- "Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave."

For Mahalalel -- "I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee!"

*snickers* Amen sister! -- "I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name."

Now this is forward thinking. LOL -- "if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning."

i would SO be this person. LOL -- "Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night."

Simply precious -- "They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods."

This just made me laugh. -- "The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8rZWw9HE7o

Just a small sampling of some crazy nights people have had apparently throughout the country. *chuckles* Made me chuckle and i hope it did the same for Yyou. *grins*