Hope Is A Fickle Friend

 

  As we grow up we are often taught that hope is one of those things we should never lose sight of. We are taught that to give up hope is the end of all. “Never give up hope” they say. They say that to lose sight of that one glimmer of hope, that last ray of sunshine puts us in our darkest and most dangerous place.

   i’m thinking that’s a bunch of malarky.

   Holding onto hope is something that drives us to the brink of insanity time and again in my humble opinion. To hold onto hope, or allow ourselves to grasp onto that hope only builds us up and up and up simply to let us crash hard and fast and far more often than not. Often without warning.

   When i was young i often thought that hope was some loving, caring entity that held us in the gentle sway of it’s embrace and kept us whole and safe. As i’ve matured i’ve come to realize though that hope is fickle, and finicky and oh so very mean.

   We strive and strive for that ultimate goal (whatever it may be) holding onto hope when everything seems against us. We pray and long and clasp that tiny string of hope to ourselves, even against our better judgement and sometimes even against the advice of our friends and loved ones. Then suddenly…that one thing we always dreamed would happen. That thing we hoped for with every fiber of our beings is stripped away from us in the blink of an eye.

   Or worse, there are times when we hope against hope. Knowing we are making complete fools out of ourselves and unable to stop the downward spiral no matter what we do, and the things we’ve hoped for…dreamed of…ached to see come to fruition slowly seep away out of our reach.

   Oh but there is hope again…off in the distance…beckoning us to come and be cuddled and comforted…trying to convince us that all is not lost and there is hope for the future. That simple allure of safety and care, a measure of peace in trouble times, drags us back in once more and fools us even though we’ve been duped hundreds of times before.

   Well today i am taking my stand. Hope is a bitch that deserves to be put down. Don’t talk to me about hope. Don’t talk to me about possibilities and maybe’s. Don’t talk to me about the might be’s or the you-never-know-what-could-happen’s. i’m done. There is no hope for me anymore. It is not something i can let pull the wool over my eyes again and survive the fallout.

   So i guess the best thing to say is that in all of that and through the entirety of the show, one simple truth remains. One sad lil fact has no place near me any longer.

   All hope is lost. That ship has sailed. No silver lining in my clouds anymore. No pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hope has abandoned me yet again.

   To those of you readers who still hold onto hope. i wish you well and i hope that she doesn’t do to you what she’s done to me and countless others over the years. you have my love and support through whatever life might throw your way.

   Until we meet again. XOXO Peace, love and hair grease.