Talk to Me baby…

 

 

   Today i thought i’d actually write an informative, possibly educational blog on the importance of communication in a Master/slave relationship. So often in our relationships be they vanilla or otherwise, we lose the ability to talk to one another. For some strange reason we automatically assume that the other person knows or should know what we are thinking or feeling or how we’ll react to any given situation. When in reality, for the most part, we as individuals NEED to communicate with one another in order to create a happy, peaceful and at times exciting as well as fulfilling relationship.

   Below i am going to attempt to give a couple of examples of how the lack of communication can cause discord and destruction in our Lifestyle relationships. i hope that you are able to follow along. *chuckles*

   We’ll call this first couple the Tryers…this couple came together full of hope and promise and a desire to help and aid one another and make each other happy in the process. The Man offered the girl support and structure and guidance. He wanted nothing more than to save her from her crazy life and give her happiness. And He tried continuously to open her up and get her to talk to Him about the things going on inside of her. At the same time, even through His best intentions, He tended to talk to others, telling them the important things that He should have been telling the girl in order to set her fears at ease and give her the confidence in Ttheir relationship that would have spurred the conversation He so desperately needed from her. On the same token, the girl having been trained that a slave should only speak when spoken to or should simply be pleasing and genuine and giving to a fault and never ever ever buck the system or (once the initial likes, dislikes, desires and fears are out of the way) express upset over things, she found it exceedingly difficult to open up and to actually give Him her upset, especially if that upset was something that had to do with something that He had done to her.

   Because of that communication barrier, as well as a few other things, a relationship that once had all the potential of a new bud in bloom, soured and turned out badly for the Tryers. See? Lack of communication…

 

 

   This second group of people we’ll call the Turncoats…this couple, who had problems of their own, attempted to bring in another person to their relationship in order to guide and direct her as well as enrich their relationship and her life as well. All good quality reasons for entering into a poly relationship within the Lifestyle. However, they seemed to have missed some key points to creating a simple relationship. Communication was simply non-existent in this situation. All they did was focus on the happy happy happy, new new new of the relationship instead of spending the time feeling one another out, talking in depth about how the others were feeling or the things they needed from each other. Even specific details about each others lives were simply pushed to the back burner and ignored. The new girl was left in the dark on key points about her place in the new relationship, she was not talked to about expectations or desires or even simple things like rules. Nor was she able to speak to them about the way she was feeling, because they did not take the time as a trio to even get to know one another on a deeper level so they were unable to communicate to one another. Again…lack of communication makes another one bite the dust.

   In this lifestyle there are key things we have to adhere to all the way across the board…safe, sane and consensual first and foremost. Followed closely by…wait for it…communication! Wwe as Dominants and submissives and slaves, HAVE to talk to one another in order to make these relationships work. Otherwise, Wwe are going to either cause harm to one another, or simply be unhappy for reasons that could be fixed if one talks to the other.

   As Dominants, You have to open Yourself for communication from Your slaves and submissives. You have to let them know that they can come talk to You about ANYTHING even things that they are concerned You might not like. As long as subbie is respectful and open and truthful with their communication then the Dominant should have no problem whatsoever with the subject matter. Even if said subject matter points out to the Dominant that They have made a mistake or misstep somewhere along the way. Because let’s face it folks, no one is perfect, even the most wonderful Dominant out there. However much They might like to think otherwise. *winks*

   As submissives we need to open ourselves to truly trusting in our Dominant’s. we need to know that we can talk to Them and NEED to talk to Them because otherwise, They are predisposed as Dominant’s to carry on as They have been, or focus on Their wants and desires and needs and not always think about those of the ones They own. Not that it makes Them bad people, but simply because as Dominant personalities it is all part and parcel of the situation. They care about us and want us happy, because truthfully, who wants a mopey or sad slave. One who is unfulfilled and simply going through the motions? No one. we need to communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings in order to thrive in these relationships more than any other.

   In closing, i’ll say that i have firsthand knowledge on both sides of the communication coin and it’s something that i have learned is absolutely necessary in order for me to even begin to be a happy, fulfilled slave. So Dominants…talk to Your slaves…MAKE them talk to You if You must…and slaves…talk to Your Dominants…They are only human, not superhuman and value your input as well as needing to know how you tick.

   Sit down, grab a cup of coffee, pick up the phone, write an email, curl up in each others arms…whatever works for Yyou and open Yyourselves up to one another. i promise Yyou that Yyou’ll be happier individuals seperately and together if Yyou do.

Best wishes my friends for happy thriving relationships!