i have come across this website a few times and it is always wildly entertaining. i shared it with some of Yyou the other night and it got such a good response i promised one of my readers that i would post a special blog dedicated to some of the better texts that appear on this site. So here goes…*grins* i hope Yyou enjoy!
Selections from The Best Nights Ever…
“his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper”
“you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now”
“(661):
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"”
“It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers”
“I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.”
“A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.”
“Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.”
“(913):
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10”
“Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.”
(For Sciicure and Mahalalel) “How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist”
“She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.”
“While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."”
“I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?”
“Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me”
“(850):
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.”
(For my lovely Dominant Friends) “She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".”
“(801):
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.”
“I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was”
“having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things”
“The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic”
“(205):
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.”
“So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.”
“Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.”
“(404):
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?”
i think i am going to stop here for now. *chuckles* There will be another installment sometime in the near future. *grins* Hope Yyou found them as amusing as i did. Man these ppl have interesting lives. LOL
lmao.. you are just too fuckin much girly
ReplyDeletea great post, very funny stuff...
ReplyDeleteOMG I love this site, a total laugh fest anytime!!
ReplyDelete