365 Reasons to be Hopeful

 

   Awhile ago i wrote a blog about having lost hope. Quite a bit has happened since i wrote that blog. Many changes have been made, and i am, for the first time in a long long while, actually able to see some hope in my future. Something to hold onto. Something worth fighting for.

   So today i sit and take a big deep breath, square my shoulders and dig deep for a smile as i look ahead into the year before me.

   They say that positive thinking brings about positive results. Perhaps it is time to put that to the test.

   So, i look at the next three hundred and sixty five days with a sense of renewed hope. Tentative as a new sprout as it peeks it’s head through the soil in the Spring, i look around the corner of 2010 into 2011. Doing everything in my power to ignore the trepidation and worry that beats on my shoulders with every breath i take. Grabbing ahold of hope, clenching it tightly with trembling hands and praying that this time it will be different. This time everything will be all that i have dreamed it would be.

   Happy New Year my friends and family. i love each of Yyou in special and real ways. i do not know what i would do without Yyou in my life. All Wwho know me and read this blog regularly, know that i am a huge sap, so i’ll try to keep the stickiness to a minimum and leave it at that. *winks*

   Here’s to hope in the new year!

The Personality Test

 

I took a personality test tonight just to see what the results would be and truly they are fairly accurate I think. Judge for Yyourselves. *winks*

ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling

ESFJs live in their Extraverted Feeling functioning. Feeling, a rational (i.e., deciding) function, expresses opinions easily in the E world of objects and people. ESFJs have the ability to express warmth, rage, and a range of other emotions. Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people, especially people near and dear to the ESFJ. This type's vocal decisiveness predisposes many of its number to facility with administration and supervision.

Introverted Sensing

The secondary Sensing function aids and abets the dominant Fe in that sensate data is collected and at once compared with the inner forms or standards. Data on which decisions are made are thus focused and given a contrast which tends to be stronger and clearer than the original stimuli. The strengthening effect of Si on Fe may be responsible for this type's reputation for wearing their "hearts on their sleeves." At any rate, ESFJs reflect the "black and white" view of reality which is common to the SJ types.

Extraverted iNtuition

Intuition is tertiary--as the ESFJ matures, and as situations arise which call for suspension of criticism, Ne is allowed to play. Under the leadership of the Fe function, iNtuition allows for a loosening of the more rigid Si rights and wrongs; teasing and slapstick humor emerge. ESFJs are also capable of discerning patterns and philosophies, but such perceiving is subject to the weakness of the tertiary position, and the results often lack the variety and complexity of connections that more complex systems require.

Introverted Thinking

The inferior Ti function may rarely be expressed. In fact, ESFJs may take affront at the aloof, detached nature of dominant Ti types, or conversely, be drawn to them. Some ESFJs construct rationale which have the appearance of (Jungian) Thinking logic, but under scrutiny are in fact command performances of "Thinking in the service of Feeling," (i.e., Thinking-like conclusions which do not obey the tenets of impersonal logic; they rather construct scenarios from only those "hard, cold facts" which support the conclusion reached by the dominant Extraverted Feeling function. To wit:

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat
with knitting needles.
-- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

The 12 Days of Christmas Lifestyle Version

On the first day of Christmas my true One gave to me...a bright red & green locking cage.

On the second day of Christmas my true One gave to me...two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the third day of Christmas my true One gave to me...three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...fiiiiive spiked cock riiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true One gave to me...seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

One the eighth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & bright red & green locking cage.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...nine pussy's purring, eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...ten cocks a stirring, eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true One gave to me...eleven floggers flogging, ten cocks a stirring, nine pussy's purring, eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...twelve Domme's Domming, eleven floggers flogging, ten cocks a stirring, nine pussy's purring, eight subs a weeiping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four  bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & and green locking caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage!

A True Sense of Thanksgiving

 

   This time of year is a good time for reflecting back on the year that we've had. As i look back on 2010 the mind spins remembering so many things that happened this year. A roller coaster of emotions to be sure.

   For me, 2010 was a year that introduced 2 very very special people into my life. As well as bringing me closer than i ever imagined to still another. It has given me new friends, new enemies. It has turned out to be both fantastic and tragic both.

   i am thankful for so many things...i think it is easier to try to lay them out in a cohesive format as opposed to trying to jumble them altogether.

1. i am thankful for the health and well-being of my beautiful children.
2. i am thankful for the freedom of living in my own apartment again even if dinner is pb&j some nights. *winks*
3. i am thankful for my wonderful Master, Who has come to mean more to me every day that i'm His & Who luckily decided i was worth a second chance.
4. i am thankful for my sweet chain sister...without her i wouldn't stay sane some days. Love you sis.
5. i am thankful for my very dear friend Hetaera, who never holds anything back, and who loves with the fullest heart i've ever seen. You have been a light in my darkest times ladybug, i'd surely be lost without You.
6. i am thankful for all of my wonderful, bizarre, zany, hilarious & genuine friends. Yyou mean the world to me. Truly Yyou do.
7. i am thankful that not all decisions are set in stone and Wwe are free to change Oour minds.
8. i am thankful for forgiveness and the ability to forgive.
9. i am thankful for my romantic heart.
10. i am thankful for what little patience God bestowed upon me when He created me. For without it, i would be in a heap load of trouble. *grins*

   Just a few things to be thankful for. i won't drone on incessantly about the rest. i hope that this holiday season, those of Yyou Wwho read my blog from time to time will sit down and think back on Yyour lives & realize how very much Wwe Aall have to be thankful for.

   Blessed be my Ffriends and loved Oones. May Yyour Thanksgiving be filled with sweetness & light and prepare Yyou for the Christmas to come. *winks*

my wish for Yyou…

 

  

   i have contemplated over the last while what i wanted to blog about. Many of the topics i came up with were either petty, or too obtuse or too personal on a one on one level.  So, i was sitting here today, listening to some music, and i realized that there is one song that can sum up at least part of what i want to say to those in my life that mean the most to me. To those that have in the past or do to this day touch my heart and my life every single day simply being being in it.

   So this is for Yyou…Master, tauryn, Hetaera, Mahalalel, courtesan, noxie, kittenz, Felix, Stone & bliss…From my heart to Yyours, i hope that it means as much to Yyou as it does to me when i hear it and think of Yyou.

 

I hope the days come easy & the moments pass slow, & each road leads Yyou where Yyou want to go.

And if Yyour faced with the choice & Yyou have to choose I hope Yyou choose the one that means the most to Yyou.

And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope Yyou keep on walkin’ til Yyou find the window.

If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile. But more than anything, more than anything…

my wish for Yyou is that this life becomes all that Yyou want it to. Yyour dreams stay big, Yyour worries stay small. Yyou never need to carry more than Yyou can hold.

And while Yyou’re out there gettin’ where Yyour gettin’ to, I hope Yyou know somebody loves Yyou & wants the same things too.

Yeah this is my wish.

I hope Yyou never look back but Yyou never forget all the ones who love Yyou and the place Yyou left.

I hope Yyou always forgive and Yyou never regret & Yyou help somebody every chance Yyou get.

Oh, Yyou’d find God’s grace in every mistake & always give more than Yyou take. But more than anything, more than anything…

my wish for Yyou is that this life becomes all that Yyou want it to. Yyour dreams stay big, Yyour worries stay small. Yyou never need to carry more than Yyou can hold.

And while Yyou’re out there gettin’ where Yyour gettin’ to, I hope Yyou know somebody loves Yyou & wants the same things too.

Yeah this is my wish.

   i love Yyou Aall in very real and different as well as special ways. Blessings to Yyou always. Yyou will forever be in my heart.

Beware of who Yyou Trust

 

   my friends, enemies, and the ever growing list of frenemies…i am afraid i have some bad news for Yyou. Among Yyou resides a traitor…the worst sort of vermin that Yyou could ever hope to be associated with. They call themselves real…a true friend…always giving you advice and being there when you need a shoulder to cry on…constantly right there waiting for you if you need help in any shape or form. They lull you into a false sense of companionship and soothe you with kind words when you are down. While all the time they are plotting behind your back.

   i am here to warn Yyou of this wretched creature, for they don’t even deserve to be called a human being. This individual will remain nameless in my blog, but they know who they are and as they read the words about them they cannot help but recognize themselves herein.

   This person pretends to love you and care for you as a real and genuine confidant, when in fact they are doing everything in their power to bring you down. They constantly spin tales about you and those you hold dear. They act like they are really your friend when in all actuality they are spreading lies and taking any and everything you might say and twisting it to meet their own needs.

   On top of that, they fabricate stories. Continuously telling falsehoods about you that make people judge your character and think you a fraud and a fake. When in all truth, the fake and the fraud, the one that should be stamped with a large T in the middle of their forehead is them. Not you. For you are not the fake or the traitor, but them. Down to the marrow of their bones.

   You take your time and you spend your precious energy on their problems. You offer them kindness and friendship. Holding their hand when they weep, tending to the bruises that life seems to heap upon this individual and all the while they are stabbing you in the back.

   i have tried to figure out why this person would do such a thing. Especially to someone they claim is SUCH a good friend, and the only thing i can come up with is that their life is so wretchedly disappointing and sad that they can do nothing but breed discord and distrust in others wherever they go. i have contemplated why this person has so few friends and i believe it is because of this behavior. That people throughout time have been used and hurt and beaten down by this cretin and can take it no longer and so extricate themselves from their sordid affairs.

   When i think that i actually felt bad for this “friend”, that i actually cried with them over their heartbreaks and tragedies…when i remember the things i shared with this evil little person…it sickens me. It truly does.

   i suppose we all have to learn from the mistakes in judgement that we make and move on to live and fight another day. So to that person, i say this…be off, be gone, i’m done with you. you’ve no place in my life any longer. you don’t deserve to breathe the air that i breathe. Keep my name out of your mouth because we are through.

   To the rest of Yyou i hope that Yyou are careful and i hope that Yyou don’t ever make contact with this imbecile because Yyou will sorely regret it if Yyou do. Be well Aall.

Real Life vs. Real Slavery

  So i’ve been sitting around here the past couple of days and have heard and seen and experienced some things that have been a wee bit unsettling as well as illuminating. i thought i’d write about one of them here tonight.

   As slaves, we are faced with absolutes every day. we are expected to be pleasing and giving and loving to our Dominants first and foremost. If we do not do those things there are consequences for our actions. we are expected to adhere to the rules and guidelines set out for us at all cost. And we do so happily.

   Sometimes our Dominants ask things of us that are difficult or uncomfortable, sometimes nearly impossible. Those are the times when we are pushed, and the molding of our slavery comes into play. A true slave feels a certain type of thrill at being pushed and guided into uncharted territory by a Dominant she trusts.

   we sit, poised and ready for the next opportunity to show our devotion to our Master or Mistress by complying without question to whatever mandate They set before us. we wait and we bide our time being as pleasing as possible in hopes that They will take the time to push the envelope a wee bit more.

   Sometimes it happens out of the blue. you are sitting having a pleasant conversation with Them and out of nowhere you are given instructions for something that catches you completely off guard and is outside of your comfort zone. Though you are frightened you are also exhilarated at the prospect to be able to serve in such a manner and please Them to the best of your ability. your mind frantically casts about trying to figure out the technicalities of making the request come to fruition.

   If you have a quality Dominant as your Owner…He or She will comfort and gently nudge, not backing off of Their original request, but letting you know that you are loved and cared for and never alone as you set about attempting to fulfill these desires. If you have a Dominant Who does those things you are one lucky little slave indeed.

   There are of course things that get in the way of our best attempts to be a good slave for our Dominants. Real life hampers things sometimes. Of course there are ways around most situations if people are creative and think before just giving up and forgetting the original desire simply because there seem to be obstacles in the way.

   It can become a bit tedious and tiring for the Dominant i am sure having to work around busy schedules or children or illness, but if They are true and the slave is true, i believe Tthey can persevere. You, as Dominants, only need to put on Your thinking caps and find new and different ways to push the envelope. You could even pose a question to Your slave to ask them if they know of a way that they can make something happen that You wish to happen if You are coming up blank. Two minds are better than one after all.

   So slaves…try to keep your chin up. Try to remember that your Master or Mistress is human and has stuff going on in Their lives as much as you have going on in yours. i know the ache to be of use and to FEEL like a slave in your heart is sometimes an overwhelming fire burning in the pit of your stomach. Just take a deep breath and pray that your Dominant sees the fire in your eyes and acts on it. i wish you the best of luck my lovelies.

   And don’t forget…it’s okay once in awhile to tell Them that you are feeling a bit unused or unwanted in whatever way you choose, be it your journal or a blog or simply during nice quiet conversation time with Them. Communication is key after all. *wink wink*