ladybug ladybug…

 

   i’ve decided that today is a good day to tell the people in my life how much they mean to me. And i would be a wretched creature if i did not tell this wonderful lady just how much she has come to mean to me.

   Never before have i met a woman like her. i really do not know what i ever did before she came into my life. i believe in my heart of hearts that without her i would be a complete wreck. she is there for me EVERY time i need her. Without fail, she holds my hand, soothes my hurts and tells me like it is.

   she has opened my eyes to so many things. Taught me countless things about myself and the Lifestyle as well. she has opened me up to endlessly imaginative ideas and possibilities. And through it all she does it with a smile and a laugh.

   Oh the laughs. i do not think i have ever laughed as much with anyone i’ve ever met as i do with this lady. we cannot be in the same vicinity without ending up cracking up every other minute. i’ve even gotten in trouble because of the laughter from time to time. *grins* All of those times, are precious to me and i would never trade them for anything.

   her presence in my life simply makes it sparkle. her friendship is priceless to me. Something i would surely perish without. To imagine a world without my ladybug is to see a dark and dreary place without color or laughter or hope.

   If you’ve not had the opportunity to get close to this woman, if you’ve not the the blessing to count her among your intimate circle of friends then you are truly missing a vital piece to your puzzle i am sure of it. This beautiful lady lights up every room she comes into and touches every life she passes by.

   So to you ladybug, i say thank you for being my special sister. you are more family to me than most i’m related to by blood. i cherish you in every conceivable way & i love you more than words can ever say. i look forward to many many years in the future of laughter and companionship and light with you by my side. Happy New Year ladybug! i love you! XOXO

sisters of the heart

 

   Sometimes in life we are blessed with amazing people who truly make our lives better simply by being close to us. Sometimes we are fortunate in the people we come to hold dear to our hearts.

   i have been blessed in such a way on more than one occasion. Here though, i’d like to tell you about one in particular.

   we met what seems like a hundred years ago. A chance meeting in a chat room. we became friends. Slowly our friendship blossomed. And for the next four years became closer. There were times when we did not speak for extended periods of time, but not because we did not care or because of any harsh feelings…simply because it was not in the stars for us to do so. i believe that in my heart.

   During a very difficult time in my life in 2010…my Master asked me if i knew of any submissives out there worth their salt…and at the top of a VERY short list was this lovely lady’s name. Because Yyou see…my Master had released me at the time. And when He asked me that question, He was trying to make me hate Him so that i could heal easier. (Or so He thought at the time) But i took His question to heart and the only name i offered up at the time was this girl. Because…well…i knew it had to be someone VERY special in order to be worthy of His attention.

   she is a blessing and a beautifully bright shining light in my world. A lot of changes have occurred since that time and we are now chain sisters, both collared to Him. He is her Daddy and she His babygirl. Tthey are beautiful together they really are. And as i look at Tthem i realize i made the right choice.

   Never before have i come across one as giving, and caring, and compassionate, and truly unselfish in their demeanor as my sister. she constantly puts others before herself. Always worrying about how this person or that person is going to take a new development or situation before focusing on her own worries and fears. she continuously checks on me to make sure that i am okay and that things are going well in my life.

   Truth be told, she runs herself ragged trying to appease everyone and trying to make sure that everyone in her life, from family to friends to online acquaintances are truly happy.

   i cherish every moment i get to spend with her and look forward to the day i am able to wrap my arms around her and hug her so tight. my arms ache with that longing.

   So to you sister, i say…i love you and i am so very happy that you came into my life. you make Him happy, and that is what my goal has been from day one. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Words can never describe the depth of emotion i feel for you. Happy New Year honey. XOXO

i knew i loved You

 

   i know that my Master does not like to have Himself blasted in blogs. i think Wwe Aall know that. i know that He has both asked me not to and given me permission to write about whatever i wanted to write about in my blog, including Him more than once. i know that i probably should not say some of the things i have roiling around inside of me in an open forum, because it tends to have the opposite effect that i desire when i do.

   But i also know that if i do not blog about this subject then i am going to let this blog go and just stop trying. i mean, have you ever had a topic on your mind and no matter what you do you can’t push it away in favor of other topics? i seem to be that way more and more as the years pass. Just become like a dog with a bone and cannot let something go until it is sorted out fully.

   So saying that, i hope that this blog pleases You Master as that is all Your slave has every hoped to do.

   i knew i could love You from Oour first real encounter. i knew that You could come to mean everything to me from the first time i sat at Your feet and felt Your fingers in my hair. i knew in my heart of hearts that You could be everything i had ever dreamed of in a Master and then some from the first time Wwe shared Oour viewpoints on the Lifestyle Wwe chose to live.

  When Wwe first got together, before anyone knew anything about it, i wrote in my profile about this wonderful Man. i’d like to see if i can recapture that magic again.

   i have been in this Lifestyle for nine, almost ten years now, and in that time i have dealt with many different types of people. Dominant and submissive alike. i have been collared a few times through those years and in all that time i have always held back, never truly being fulfilled because of my fear or my trust issues. i have never fully given myself to Anyone. Until i met my Master.

   i have been collared by the most amazing Man. He is wonderful and tender, sweet and genuine, loving and true. And at the same time He is harsh and strict, giving me the structure i NEED to truly feel like a slave. He has a no nonsense way about Him that just soothes all the chaotic insanity that rushes through my brain every time i turn around.

   His compassion and strength seem to know no bounds. Which makes me feel safe and secure (no pun intended) in myself and in Him. There is something about Him that triggers my need to submit, and my drive to open up completely. There is something that only He has possessed that has made the slave fire inside of me burn more brightly than it ever has before. And because of Him and all that He is, i am growing more and more everyday in my slavery. Opening myself up in ways that i never thought possible.

   It is a heady experience to know that you are truly safe, and protected and loved. That no matter what comes your way Someone else will be there to take the load and either share it with You or remove it from You completely and take it onto Themselves. It is an amazing feeling for me to be able to truly rely on Someone else fully. To know that i can call out to Him “Master?” and KNOW deep down inside i will hear back “I’m right here babydoll.” It is something that is hard for me to explain to those who don’t know, but to be assured of those things makes me relax and calms my inner demons to such an extent i can almost just close my eyes and drift into a peaceful sleep from the level of relaxation i feel.

   This Man has touched me in ways that even i am astounded by. He has opened so many doors for me. He has given me such promise of a future that i never thought possible. With Him as my guide and compass, knowing He is my strength gives me purpose beyond being a Mother. It allows me to be a woman, and a slave to a wonderfully Dominant Man.

   So to Him i say…thank You Master, for everything You are, everything You’ve helped me become and everything You represent for my future as a slave. i am eager to sit at Your feet and know that when all my options are taken away i am safe in Your embrace. i dream of the day i feel Your breath against my skin and Your hand in my hair. my heart longs for the time when i am able to serve You fully and without reservation.

   Your slave loves You to distraction, and revels in the knowledge that she belongs to You for as long as You consider her worthy of Your ownership. Happy New Year Master! Here’s to a bright and shining 2011! XOXO

365 Reasons to be Hopeful

 

   Awhile ago i wrote a blog about having lost hope. Quite a bit has happened since i wrote that blog. Many changes have been made, and i am, for the first time in a long long while, actually able to see some hope in my future. Something to hold onto. Something worth fighting for.

   So today i sit and take a big deep breath, square my shoulders and dig deep for a smile as i look ahead into the year before me.

   They say that positive thinking brings about positive results. Perhaps it is time to put that to the test.

   So, i look at the next three hundred and sixty five days with a sense of renewed hope. Tentative as a new sprout as it peeks it’s head through the soil in the Spring, i look around the corner of 2010 into 2011. Doing everything in my power to ignore the trepidation and worry that beats on my shoulders with every breath i take. Grabbing ahold of hope, clenching it tightly with trembling hands and praying that this time it will be different. This time everything will be all that i have dreamed it would be.

   Happy New Year my friends and family. i love each of Yyou in special and real ways. i do not know what i would do without Yyou in my life. All Wwho know me and read this blog regularly, know that i am a huge sap, so i’ll try to keep the stickiness to a minimum and leave it at that. *winks*

   Here’s to hope in the new year!

The Personality Test

 

I took a personality test tonight just to see what the results would be and truly they are fairly accurate I think. Judge for Yyourselves. *winks*

ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling

ESFJs live in their Extraverted Feeling functioning. Feeling, a rational (i.e., deciding) function, expresses opinions easily in the E world of objects and people. ESFJs have the ability to express warmth, rage, and a range of other emotions. Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people, especially people near and dear to the ESFJ. This type's vocal decisiveness predisposes many of its number to facility with administration and supervision.

Introverted Sensing

The secondary Sensing function aids and abets the dominant Fe in that sensate data is collected and at once compared with the inner forms or standards. Data on which decisions are made are thus focused and given a contrast which tends to be stronger and clearer than the original stimuli. The strengthening effect of Si on Fe may be responsible for this type's reputation for wearing their "hearts on their sleeves." At any rate, ESFJs reflect the "black and white" view of reality which is common to the SJ types.

Extraverted iNtuition

Intuition is tertiary--as the ESFJ matures, and as situations arise which call for suspension of criticism, Ne is allowed to play. Under the leadership of the Fe function, iNtuition allows for a loosening of the more rigid Si rights and wrongs; teasing and slapstick humor emerge. ESFJs are also capable of discerning patterns and philosophies, but such perceiving is subject to the weakness of the tertiary position, and the results often lack the variety and complexity of connections that more complex systems require.

Introverted Thinking

The inferior Ti function may rarely be expressed. In fact, ESFJs may take affront at the aloof, detached nature of dominant Ti types, or conversely, be drawn to them. Some ESFJs construct rationale which have the appearance of (Jungian) Thinking logic, but under scrutiny are in fact command performances of "Thinking in the service of Feeling," (i.e., Thinking-like conclusions which do not obey the tenets of impersonal logic; they rather construct scenarios from only those "hard, cold facts" which support the conclusion reached by the dominant Extraverted Feeling function. To wit:

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat
with knitting needles.
-- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

The 12 Days of Christmas Lifestyle Version

On the first day of Christmas my true One gave to me...a bright red & green locking cage.

On the second day of Christmas my true One gave to me...two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the third day of Christmas my true One gave to me...three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...fiiiiive spiked cock riiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true One gave to me...seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

One the eighth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & bright red & green locking cage.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...nine pussy's purring, eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...ten cocks a stirring, eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true One gave to me...eleven floggers flogging, ten cocks a stirring, nine pussy's purring, eight subs a weeping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & bouncing & a bright red & green locking cage.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true One gave to me...twelve Domme's Domming, eleven floggers flogging, ten cocks a stirring, nine pussy's purring, eight subs a weeiping, seven slaves a serving, six vibes a vibing, fiiiiiiiive spiked cock riiiiiiiings, four  bruises throbbing, three French whores, two tits bouncing & a bright red & and green locking caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage!

A True Sense of Thanksgiving

 

   This time of year is a good time for reflecting back on the year that we've had. As i look back on 2010 the mind spins remembering so many things that happened this year. A roller coaster of emotions to be sure.

   For me, 2010 was a year that introduced 2 very very special people into my life. As well as bringing me closer than i ever imagined to still another. It has given me new friends, new enemies. It has turned out to be both fantastic and tragic both.

   i am thankful for so many things...i think it is easier to try to lay them out in a cohesive format as opposed to trying to jumble them altogether.

1. i am thankful for the health and well-being of my beautiful children.
2. i am thankful for the freedom of living in my own apartment again even if dinner is pb&j some nights. *winks*
3. i am thankful for my wonderful Master, Who has come to mean more to me every day that i'm His & Who luckily decided i was worth a second chance.
4. i am thankful for my sweet chain sister...without her i wouldn't stay sane some days. Love you sis.
5. i am thankful for my very dear friend Hetaera, who never holds anything back, and who loves with the fullest heart i've ever seen. You have been a light in my darkest times ladybug, i'd surely be lost without You.
6. i am thankful for all of my wonderful, bizarre, zany, hilarious & genuine friends. Yyou mean the world to me. Truly Yyou do.
7. i am thankful that not all decisions are set in stone and Wwe are free to change Oour minds.
8. i am thankful for forgiveness and the ability to forgive.
9. i am thankful for my romantic heart.
10. i am thankful for what little patience God bestowed upon me when He created me. For without it, i would be in a heap load of trouble. *grins*

   Just a few things to be thankful for. i won't drone on incessantly about the rest. i hope that this holiday season, those of Yyou Wwho read my blog from time to time will sit down and think back on Yyour lives & realize how very much Wwe Aall have to be thankful for.

   Blessed be my Ffriends and loved Oones. May Yyour Thanksgiving be filled with sweetness & light and prepare Yyou for the Christmas to come. *winks*